20140202-214639.jpgPrague, world famous for its affordability in food and alcohol, quirkiness, film industry, & nightclubs!
Unfortunately we were feeling a tad ‘worse for wear‘, thanks to it being the first stop since Oktoberfest, so we didn’t do much in the way of late night parties and clubs….. Perhaps another time.
However, those interested in food, booze, history & wonderful stories are in luck!

I’m so excited my first recount of our epic travels from last year, for 2014, is about Praha (prague). We completely WINGED it when deciding to go here. Our last night in Munich, we are shit faced, drunkedly booking rooms and train travel late at night in our friends hotel room, managed to book some great deals (still can’t believe it 4 months later), head back to camp and pack at 1am in the freezing cold, all to be ready for our 9am train….. Read on and see where it takes us!

Somehow we wake up when our alarm goes off at 6:30. We are actually running on time! Here we are thinking

“there’s no way we can be late now”

and then the shuttle bus never shows. When you book a train at the last minute, you are not getting reserved seating, so you better get there damn early to get one! So we call a cab, wait another 30 minutes (there goes our on-time win), a cab arrives, we beg him to hurry….. He’d rather chat.

Damn Germans and their infectious friendliness – NOT NOW!

We make it, spill my coffee EVERYWHERE (in spectacular fashion: imagine finger pointing, head shaking, metre long puddle and people slipping) running to the platform, annoy a conductor for asking her to speak English. Fuck I can be rude sometimes. Lol.
We see our travel comrades, we can relax, & the train takes off. Not realising our train is 6 hours long and NO dinner cart. Hungover, tired & starving. We only survived so long by laughing and editing all the pictures from Oktoberfest.

Ahoj Praha!

Much bigger and impressive than I ever expected!
Traveller beware: do NOT just get into a cab at airports or train stations in Prague. They will rip you off!
Due to our dilapidated and less prepared state, we sure as hell were not walking to our hostel, so we made this mistake.

FYI: Czech Republic runs on Czech Koruna. Be sure to have some ready so you are familiar with the value of the Koruna. We were drunk, tired and completely careless. This is how we were taken advantage of. Lesson learnt!
Equity Point Prague was relatively new when we stayed there, late September, but it was incredible value for money, 12€ pp/pn. We highly recommend them.
Sluggishly dragged ourselves off to a Thai dinner, the fancy kind at Lemon Leaf, with Miss GG and Redman. 2 courses and a drink was 20€ pp.

Reluctantly dragging ourselves out of a well deserved rest in the morning, all to catch the free breakfast, meant we learned we were pushing it for the walking tour and decide last second to make a run for it.

“God! I’m too sick for this!”

I’m still reeling from my Tonsillitis and Tim is looking like a bachelor recovering from a spring break bucks weekend!

Almost puking and giving up, we made it, ready to be enlightened. If we didn’t have the company of our friends we probably would of bailed we felt so awful. Thankfully we didn’t and we learned a great deal about a country that was a ‘lets do it next year’ option originally.
Sometimes, the education system in Australia, embarrasses me. When I was in school, I was dedicated and interested in History, but places like Prague make me look and feel sheltered. This place… Has. Seen. Some. Shit!

>>>>click HERE, to see get some insight into stuff I don’t have time to fit in this post<<<<
At the end of our tour, the guide sits us down outside a famous venue, to recap on the political & war history of this great nation. A local woman overhears his wrap up of Gustáv Husák & is compelled to interrupt politely. Then proceeds to blast the tour guide for ‘slandering a beloved president’ & she ‘outta go and publicly bad mouth his president.’ To which our American guide suggests she should if she feels ‘so strongly about it’ because ‘its a free world and he doesn’t give a shit what she thinks’ …… priceless.

20140202-221237.jpgRecreating one of my fav scenes in Eurotrip. Waiting outside the ‘Louvre’

After that grand finale we set off exploring and discovered one of Pragues famous underground cave restaurants. All in desperate need of pork knuckle, we are yet to ween ourselves off since Oktoberfest, we pay through the nose for our meals and admire the kooky crap in this deserted eatery.

Trying to digest what it was we actually were just subjected to, we hunt around the main part of Prague for a few more hours and we discover some interesting facts:
1. All strengths of Absinthe are legal in Czech
2. There are an awful amount of Thai massage parlours & fish spas
3. It houses the ‘Sex toy’ and ‘torture’ museum
4. Glazed ham is SUPER expensive!
5. Many of our favourite movies have been filmed in Prague! Eg. Hostel, Eurotrip, The Chronicles of Narnia, Alien vs Predator, Bourne Identity, XXX, A Knights Tale…..
6. The clock tower is pretty awesome!

>>>>The interesting ancient workings of the Astronomical Clock<<<<

After a great run with weather, we encounter the rains, and decided its a good day to check out the famous Prague Castle after walking over the Charles Bridge. I’m not sure if its because all of us had conflicting ideas on how to best explore the grounds or because we didn’t get a guided tour but we were agreed in that it was a bit of a let down. 😦

If I could do it over, I would suggest the castle after dark tour, where you are in a small group, with a guide, after hours and they share some ghost stories as well as accurate history. All for a small increase on what we paid to be disappointed.
Still, let it be said, that the views are spectacular from up there! There are some adorable little stores in the Golden Lane. And we got some great photos in the castle.


But the most humorous part of the castle was the boys trying to whack down crabapples on the walk back to town…. Breaking GG’s umbrella in the process….

We set off to find somewhere, better value than yesterday’s, for lunch. 1 hour later, we ended up at the pub, competing with other pubs and diners in the ‘free pouring beer challenge‘. However after a mixup in our appetiser order, do not order the Pork Crackle, we started to agree with the well known fact that Czech waiters are rather arrogant. And, before anyone carries on, this is a self stated fact that Czechs share with tourists. >>>Use-it Maps<<<

After our lunch, we figured it would be a great idea to make ourselves sick, checking out the ‘Sex Toy’ museum! Of course, that’s silly, we had no idea it would make us feel violated. But the mood definitely lulled after that. Ill glaze over the details but feel free to come to your own conclusions from the images.
Details: Sick, depraved, gross.

Thank god for the Sex Machine tester at the exit, after some hilarious results, we felt a little better. If you are all wondering, I got the second from the top, ‘Burning.’

We then wrapped up by having delicious treats from a popular cafe, said a teary goodbye to my GG because it will be a long time before I see her and Redman again, then Tim & I indulged in the Thai Massages with steaming Rooibus tea before bed.

We did more shopping/ exploring the next day. I tried these potato fried cake things…. AMAZING! I got a pair of knee-high boots for 16€!
We bought our fav cider, Rekorderlig, for only 1.75€! Tim confirmed that Cannabis Pops do not work & I sweet talked my way into a great ‘Trinket’ deal for my charm necklace. Capping off our shopping experience with the BEST coffees I had the entire time in Europe…. At a Starbucks. Hahaha. They even got my name right on the cup. First time for everything.

We had heard a guide talk of a church that had a human arm hanging from the wall, we tried to see this church today, but we arrived on the day it was closed. So if anyone reading this has a photo, or has seen this with their own eyes, I’d be interested to hear from you!

There is one definite I can say about Prague, and I will fight to the death if anyone disputes, it has some incredible street performers!
We saw an amazing scrap materials drummer, a crystal water glass performer that was beeeeeyooooond amazing, & I was lucky enough to be included in a shock factor show at sunset in the main square. There were LOTS of spectators! Instagram >>>Check out my Instagram account for videos of the street performers!<<<

I have left out the annoying Germans in our dorm! Lucky you. But it needs to be shared just how annoying they were. Tim was getting sick midway through our stop in prague & I was on the mend. Eager for him to rest, and for me to catch up on my blogging, I spent as much time as I could in the lobby, writing. The Germans noticed and picked on my lack of interest in smoking, partying or ‘having sex, while Tim slept. Anyone who knows me in person, knows I would never take such BS quietly, but I was so shocked by their brashness I was caught off guard. They squawked at me in the middle of the night, smoked in the room, & asked inappropriate questions when I was trying to sleep. Luckily we only had to tolerate them for 2 nights and Tim screeched the f-bomb on the 2nd night and we heard nothing after that…. Douchebags

20140203-171410.jpgWe spent all of the last day, in Prague, on the outskirts of town checking out the bone chapel, Kutna Hora! Also randomly found a new friend who was also from our little place of home. The bone chapel was waaaaay cool! Housing the art made from over 60,000 people. People were desperate to be buried there. As legend had it, monks who worked there, went to the holy lands and brought back soil. Sprinkled the soil on the cemetery meaning your body decomposed faster and in purer fashion. Plot prices sky rocketed and the monks were ‘rollin‘ in it. So to make more money, they dug up bodies after a couple of years and re sold the plots. Eventually an architect was commissioned to make something of the bones. That is the summarised history of Kutna Hora.

Afterwards, we were taken to the church of Saint Barbara. It was sooooo beautiful. The grounds, the decorations, stained windows, all of it!
Tim and I ended the day paying our respects to the victim, Jan Palach & Jan Zajic, of the protest against the Prague Spring. Google it, it will all ring a bell.


I know this post has rambled on quite a bit, but I’m still feeling disappointed that I really haven’t been able to describe just how wonderful Prague was. It’s magic. Like actually magic, with ghosts, alchemists & wizards. There’s an infectious need to get ‘lost‘ in Prague. Tea houses, book stores, second hand markets, nightclubs etc. There is an astounding amount of dark history in such a small town it completely engulfs you leaving you wanting more. The food is incredible diverse and delicious! The beer is world class and stupid cheap. And we visited during off peak time!
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Please visit Prague. Do everything you want to, don’t hold back, this city has SO much to give.

Next stop, Vienna, stay tuned



About mapofjo

I'm a late twenties opinionated nerd who likes to share my wisdom & experiences with like minded people. I've studied, worked & travelled lots. I'm an open book with nothing to hide, other than my secretly embarrassing celeb crushes....

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